Today is my husband's birthday, and though he’s in heaven, the ache of his absence is something I feel deeply, especially now. We always celebrated his birthday on September 3rd and mine on September 5th, making those days our special time together. But it wasn’t always easy. We had our share of dysfunction, and there were times when people would say, "You guys need to split up." But we never did. We might have spent some time in separate living areas, taking a break to breathe so we didn't destroy each other, but we always came back together.
Our relationship wasn’t perfect. We both loved and hated our vows at times, but one thing we never did was break them. That kind of connection, that kind of commitment, is something not everyone can understand or comprehend. It goes deeper than the surface, beyond what most people can see. Even beyond death, I’m still able to communicate with him, to feel his touch when I desire it. It’s a bond that transcends this world, and it’s something I’m incredibly grateful for.
We even created our own language, our own vocabulary, and little words and phrases that only we knew. It was like our own secret world, a level of connection that went beyond the surface. We’d laugh about our silly words, use them in moments of intimacy, and they became a part of who we were as a couple. Those words, that shared language, is something I miss deeply. It’s a reminder of how close we were and how perfectly we fit together in every way.
I miss waking up beside him, feeling his warmth, his touch, his kiss, and the moments I can'teven write about. I miss the way his scent lingered on the pillow, the way his laughter filled the room. Our bed feels so empty now, a constant reminder of what I’ve lost. Even the small things, like the silly arguments or the playful teasing, have become cherished memories. I’d give anything to have one more of those moments and to hear his voice, feel his arms around me, and share that unique connection we had.
People like me, who’ve lost their other half, know this pain all too well. It feels like losing a piece of yourself, a part of your soul. And while I know I’m alone in the physical sense, I also know I’m not truly alone. I’m connected with others who’ve experienced this kind of loss, and that connection is a lifeline. It’s why it’s so important to share our stories to let others know that while the pain is real, the love we share doesn’t end with death. It continues, and it’s something that keeps us going.
So today, as I honor his memory, I also honor the love we shared, the good, the bad, the imperfectly perfect love that bound us together. If you know someone who’s lost their partner, especially around significant dates like birthdays, please reach out to them. A kind word, a shared memory, or just letting them know you care can make all the difference. While the pain of loss is something we carry every day, knowing that others remember can bring a bit of comfort, even in the midst of such deep sorrow. Remember, always be kind. You never know what someone is going through. As always, Be Blessed Beautiful Souls!
The Unique TonyaLe
©2024TonyaLe
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